Don't be Adopted in a Whack Job Family
by Lonixa
Summary: Set one year before Fifth Holy Grail War. Percy has to deal with frustrations and eventually accepting his sister's love for him. Meanwhile Irisviel is begging to be a grandparent as soon as possible. Kiritsugu on the other hand is just mourning for Percy, who understands dealing the pain of being married in a Einzbern. Percy x Ilya, Eventual ShirouxArturia. Rating may change.
1. Family Arrives

Percy hummed to himself in the kitchen as he made food. Singing a toon from camp that he used to sing with everyone else. After a moment of adding the finishing touches he stared down at his product and grinned. "Ilya, Shirou, Sella, Leysritt! It's dinner time." Percy called out within the house.

The first one to appear was Sella who had no doubt been cleaning another part of the house. "Master! How many times have I told you to make sure Leysritt cooks the food!" She started berating him about doing Leysritt's job, _again._

Unlike the other residents in the house who would run in fear for their lives from Sella's berating, Percy just winked at her. "Don't worry about it Sella. Besides I help you out with your chores sometimes, don't I?"

Sella just glared at him, completely unaffected by his charisma. "Master. There is a difference between _helping_ and _doing the persons job_." Percy just rolled his eyes and set the plates on the table.

The next to come down was Leysritt who looked so happy at seeing food on the table. "Yay! Food!" Leysritt pumped her fist into the air from not having to cook once again.

Sella glared at Leysritt and if looks could kill then Leysritt would be dead ten times over. "Leysritt."

Leysritt's face paled dramatically once she saw Sella. "Oh Sella, wonderful weather we're having." She said unable to keep the fear out of her voice.

"Not in the kitchen you two." Percy told them though it was more directed at Sella.

Sella bowed to Percy. "Of course, Master." Sella then glared at Leysritt and yanked at her ears, dragging her out of the room. Percy completely ignored Leysritt's frantic cries for help. He had become used to these calls for help and decided it would be rather smart not to get in Sella's way.

Watching them go, Shirou watched as Leysritt tried to grab onto the walls as she was dragged away from the kitchen. "Shirou! Help!" Shirou just smiled and waved as she went.

The sixteen-year-old had grown quite a bit and with him now being in high school made his life much busier "Hey Percy." Shirou then frowned as he saw all the food on the table. "Wasn't it my turn to cook today?"

"Was it?" Percy thought to himself, in truth it was Shirou's turn to cook. "Oh well, you were so focused in your mage craft I decided not to bother and go ahead and cook." Percy leaned in close, "Don't tell Sella but Leysritt went into my room when she was supposed to cook so I decided to get her in trouble."

Shirou shook his head and smiled at his brother. While his brother never got mad at them he would do the small things to get them in trouble by Sella and that by itself could be considered the work of the devil.

Sella came back in a rather eloquent fashioned followed by a heavily bruised Leysritt who was suddenly regretting not cooking today. Leysritt walked up to Percy and bowed "I am sorry for not cooking master." No doubt saying it from getting in even more trouble with Sella, but Percy could hear the truthfulness in her voice. Rubbing her head, he smiled. "Go ahead and sit down Leysritt. I made chicken enchiladas, your favorite."

Leysritt smile lit up the room as she at once went and sat down at the table followed by Shirou. Sella frowned as they were missing one. "Is she taking a nap again?" Sella murmured looking at the stairs.

Percy smiled getting used to his sister's antics. "I'll go get her."

"Let me." Sella held her arm in front of Percy. "We don't want a repeat of last time."

Ah, yes. Last time. "Thank you, Sella." Percy was grateful that he wouldn't walk into the trap like he had last time. Ilya's attempts were starting to be rather… desperate.

Sella nodded and with a tight smile she went up the stairs. Percy went to the table where Leysritt was endlessly chatting about an anime she had seen on tv while Shirou was listening. Percy looked down at his phone while Sella was prepping the eighteen-year-old to make sure she looked appropriate when coming down to dinner.

Percy grimaced at the newest message he had received from an old coworker of Kiritsugu. _I'll be in town in tomorrow Percy._ Maiya had always been rather unemotional, something her and Kiritsugu often shared when conducting business. He as well as his adoptive parents had invited Maiya multiple times to settle down within the family but being the second coming of the Magus Killer was always something she liked to do so much more. However, when Maiya did come things tended to get rather rowdy.

It took a moment longer before everyone started eating but Sella eventually came down with a displeased Ilya following in tow. However, the moment Ilya saw Percy she brightened up as she sat down right next to him. Saying that Sella was displeased with Ilya was the same as saying fire and ice went together. "I found her wearing a rather explicit cat outfit Master."

"Ilya, We talked about-"

Ilya held a finger up to his lips and it was at this moment Percy got a good look at her. Her features had always been rather angelic just like all homunculus but on the other hand her eyes were much more human like despite being the same red that Sella's and Leysritt's were. He already had trouble with so many people coming over to the house just to flirt with the girl, or Sella or Leysritt for that matter. "Guess what tomorrow is!"

Percy looked at her with a questioning look. "Tomorrow is your birthday." Percy told her, it was obvious that is the answer she was looking for as she looked as pleased with him.

"And?" She pressed on smiling happily at him. Her eyes were in a teasing manor and she looked super excited. She was looking for something specific, Percy knew it.

"You're turning eighteen?" Percy told her and then the situation dawned on him "You're turning eighteen." This time Percy's face drained of all color.

Ilya on the other hand looked ecstatic. "Yep! That means we can finally be together! Just you and me together forever."

"Good for you Ilya!" Leysritt began to clap her hands. Shirou followed suit, happy that his brother and his sister would finally be getting together.

Sella just sighed, knowing the inevitable that Ilya had wanted all her life would be happening and there was nothing Percy could do about it. "I wish for you to have a happy life master."

Percy's eyes looked over at Sella in betrayal, but she did her best to look everywhere but at Percy. Percy knew just as well as Sella that once Ilya's mind was on something there was absolutely nothing that could be done to change it.

Percy sighed, "Ilya, this is wrong. I am your brother-"

Ilya cut him off, "Are you my blooded brother?"

He frowned, not knowing where this was going, "Well no, but-"

Ilya's grin was plastered on her face and there was no doubt it would not come off anytime soon. "Fuyuki's laws only apply to blood related siblings."

Percy opened his mouth but decided against it. If anything, Ilya was much smarter then Percy in almost all ways and knew almost every trick of the trade. No matter what he did Percy would end up losing the conversation. Instead Percy decided to not talk and take a bite of his chicken enchilada that stood in front of him.

Everyone took this and beginning to eat but Ilya. Percy knew that Ilya wasn't happy with the way that Percy responded to her confession of love (In Ilya's way to say it). But it was wrong, while he knew his sister was beautiful he never tried to look in her that way before. "Ilya-"

Once again, she cut him off, deciding to make it a habit during dinner, "There is not a single thing that can deter me from this Onii-Chan. Deal with it."

"That's not what I was going to say." Normally he wouldn't have trouble with Ilya believing him, this time his voice betrayed him as his voice cracked. Ilya shot him a look and he just slumped in defeat, silently going back to eating his food. Dinner ended up being a quiet affair with both himself and Ilya deep in thought.

"I got it!" Ilya shot up right when she finished eating and sprinted off to her room, making Percy's face drain. Feeling a comforting hand on his shoulder he looked over to Sella muttering an apology and quickly shuffling out of the room followed by a Leysritt who wanted to watch her anime.

Shirou looked up at his brother. "You took the day off work for tomorrow, right?" Percy nodded absently, trying to think of one final solution to change Ilya's mind. "I'll take care of dishes. Why don't you go to sleep early tonight? You will need the energy for tomorrow." Shirou offered Percy.

Percy sighed, knowing his brother was indeed right. "Thank you Shirou, maybe I will do just that." With that he trudged off to his bed despite it only being eight in the evening.

His room was rather bland considering the rooms he had in his apartment in Manhattan that he almost never visited anymore and the one at Camp Half Blood which technically wasn't even his. The only thing that was in his room was a small tv that he put to the side and a few pictures with a mattress laying on the ground. He always found it much more comfortable sleeping on the ground then a bed frame.

Looking at his picture frame, Percy let out a tight lip smile. Ever since he left Camp Half Blood he had wondered how they all had been doing. No doubt slaying monsters or dying on a basis, an unfortunate event that happened to demigods.

Percy snickered, ever since he had killed mother earth, Gaia, he had almost no more challenges. The slayer of a Primordial held weight no matter what supernatural there was. In reality it was nice not having to deal with the super natural but at the same time it made his life bland.

Stripping down to some basketball shorts, Percy flopped to mattress on the ground and buried his head into the comfort. Very rarely did he rest even though at this point he could retire from work and be well off for the rest of his life. Being the savior of the world had its perks.

His eyes began to close and while he was half awake he heard the door click open. His eyes flickered open to see Ilya in her pajamas joining him in bed. "Ilya-"

"Stop Onii-Chan." Ilya voice was soft and quiet as she got into the bed and snuggled with him. Honestly, he was too tired to deal with. It also didn't help that it had been so long since he had slept with anyone in any way, shape or form. The comforting of Ilya being snuggled with him made him feel at rest. It was so wrong to be doing this and he knew it.

"Stop it." She repeated, and Percy frowned, what was it this time? "I can see that look in your eyes. Just accept it. I love you for who you are, and nothing will change that.

Percy gave a light thinned smile, "Ilya, you know me as your brother but that's it. You don't know what I have done in the past."

She rolled her eyes, as if the statement he just made, made no sense at all. "Just stop. Why do you torture yourself like this?"

Percy blinked, _Torture?_ "How do I torture myself Ilya?" That was all Percy said, choosing his words carefully especially someone like Ilya where it would backfire.

"I don't know what it is." Ilya admitted, a frown gracing her features. "But you look like you are always in emotional turmoil. Please just stop it, I hate seeing you like this."

"Ilya-" Alright the cutting off that Ilya was doing was just unfair.

"You have regrets. I get it Onii-Chan but you are only hurting yourself in the process." She was right, he knew it even if he didn't want to admit it. Getting close to him she hugged him tightly as if afraid he would disappear if she let go. Burying her head into Percy's knew and snuggling him as tightly as she could, she eventually fell asleep in his embrace.

Percy blinked owlishly, he didn't remember hugging her but his arms were wrapped around her and not letting go. "Very well Ilya." He murmured and held onto her, not letting go either.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but he remembered waking up right at six like he had every other morning but unlike the others he found himself not wanting to move.

Ilya was still buried into his chest, sleeping as hard as a rock. Percy doubted that she would be moving any time soon. Very gently he wiggled out of her grip and put a pillow in his stead. He had breakfast to make and he also had to deal with a rather hyper Ilya who was sure to get everything she wanted today.

Sighing, he found Sella already prepping breakfast. "Sella I was going to make breakfast you know."

Sella looked up to find her master standing there. "I'm sorry Master." Sella murmured. They both knew what she was talking about. No doubt it had been on Sella's mind all last night.

Percy ran his hand through his unruly hair. A sign that show he was rather stressed by the events. "There is nothing you could do Sella. I have no doubt that when Kiritsugu and Irisviel come back that they will be rather." Percy trailed off, not knowing how the two would react. He had no doubt Irisviel would want baby's immediately and Kiritsugu, well he would be agreeing with his wife in the end. Percy looked up with a frown on his face. "When do they come back?"

Sella looked up with a grimace and was about to speak when the door flew wide open. "We're home!" Both Sella and Percy cringed as she screamed it through the house at six in the morning.

Quickly coming into the kitchen Irisviel looked ecstatic at seeing her son. "Percy! Why are you up so early? I thought I told you that you need to sleep more. Oh, my poor baby." Irisviel ran up to Percy and began swinging him back and forth in a tight hug.

"Iris let the man down." His father walked in shortly after carrying two bags that were no doubt filled with equipment. Setting them gently on the ground he shook Percy's hand once he had been released from Irisviel's grip. "I hope everyone didn't give you too much trouble?"

Percy opened his mouth and then closed it, unable to speak. So, Sella spoke up for him. "Ilya announced her undying love yesterday and starting today she will stop at nothing to get Percy."

"Sella!" Percy's blush was as red as a tomato and he looked down in defeat. "I don't know what I am going to do." Percy muttered, Kiritsugu overhearing him.

Irisviel began clapping loudly, "Oh I knew my baby girl could do it! I can't wait until I have grandchildren!"

Kiritsugu looked at Percy and placed a hand on his son's shoulder "I'm sorry." He told him with a grim smile.

"Not you too!" Percy gaped. If there was one person who could help with in this scenario it would have been Kiritsugu.

The man just stared at Percy. "This is Irisviel's child we are talking about."

Percy just slumped in defeat and stared at Irisviel who was endlessly chatting with Sella, who was trying to keep up with her master. "I thought you weren't coming home for a few days." Percy asked Kiritsugu after a moment.

"Irisviel was very demanding to make sure we got home on Ilya's birthday." Kiritsugu admitted to his son.

"Did you get her a present?"

The man blinked. "I knew I was forgetting something."


	2. The Past Arrives

Percy sighed quietly as he began cooking his blue chocolate chip cookies in his corner of the kitchen. Sella was taking up most of the room within the kitchen and as such Percy was put into the corner as he cooked. On special occasions within the family he could his blue chocolate chip cookies as a reminder of his family before.

His mother had died in a rather bad accident in the subway tunnels in Manhattan. Over three hundred people had died on the train underneath and a conductor messed up the schedules and the two trains went head to head, unable to stop. Whether it was an accident or not, Percy didn't know.

A tear stained down his eye just thinking of the women, she was the perfect mother in every way possible and her smile lit up the room when she entered. It was that aspect that brought his father home and how Percy was conceived.

"Master?" Sella asked hesitantly. Percy looked over to see Sella in worry.

Percy waved her off, wiping the tears from his face with his forearm. "Ah, don't worry about it Sella. If it isn't too much to ask, can you turn the oven to 375 degrees?" Percy asked her. He was unable to do so as he kept balling up the cookie dough. He was almost out of cookie dough and he wanted to save some to eat himself later on.

Tearing off the gloves on his hands and tossing them in the trash, he looked at the continental English breakfast that Sella had made. Muffins and eggs with a side of bacon. "It looks amazing Sella, should I go wake everyone up?"

Sella shook her head. "Do not worry master, I will wake everyone up. Have you bought Ilya a gift yet?" It had been almost an hour since Percy had reminded his adoptive parents about Ilya's gift.

Percy nodded, it wouldn't be a fancy gift that his parents had gotten her, but it held more of a sentimental value. "I haven't wrapped it yet but-" Pulling out a small ring, he showed Sella it. The ring was small, it had a pearl in the middle of it with small sapphire gems that surrounded it. "It was the ring my father had first gifted my mother. I have no use for it, but I thought Ilya would like it."

Sella peered at the ring and examined it, "It is a lovely ring Master. Won't Ilya take this the wrong way though?" They both knew what Sella was referring too. Ilya and Irisviel had a tendency to go overboard on things.

Percy shook his head, he had been planning on giving this to her regardless of what she thought. "If I planned on marrying her it would be in a much more traditional sense with a diamond ring. I hope she would understand it at least." Percy admitted, slightly scared at the prospect of Ilya taking it in a wrong way.

"If it wouldn't be to much could you go get Ilya while I got the others for breakfast?" Sella asked Percy and he nodded. Percy had an inkling that she already knew that Ilya had gone to sleep within his room.

Percy put the cookies in the oven and headed back to his room. Sure enough, Ilya was still passed out clutching onto the pillow that he had substituted in his steed. Slight drool was coming out of her mouth making Percy repress a chuckle.

Walking over, he gently shook her shoulder to wake her up. "Stop." Ilya groaned out, not wanting to get out of bed.

"Ilya, it's time to get up." Percy told her, shaking her shoulder a little harder this time. "I wouldn't want to eat your breakfast all by myself now, would I?"

At once, Ilya's eyes flashed opened and looked up to Percy. She looked confused as she looked up to Percy then looked back down to the spot he had been when they had fallen asleep. "Onii-Chan?"

"Happy Birthday Ilya." Percy smiled down at her. The white-haired girl smiled brightly while rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Why are you up so early?" She asked him, sitting up on her bed.

Percy rose an eyebrow, "Ilya, I'm always up this early. You know that."

Ilya shook her head and held out her arms. "Pick me up, please?"

Percy rolled his eyes at her childish behavior but found himself unable to do so. "How about, if you get up right now I will give you your present?"

Ilya shot up in an instant and was now wide awake. She tried to hide it, but Percy could see the clear excitement on her face at the prospect of getting her gift from Percy. Letting out a chuckle, Percy reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring he had shown earlier to Ilya. Gently setting it in her open palm before she could see it.

Drawing his hand back, she stared at the right with a pearl in her hand. Slowly moving it around with her pointer finger and thumb, she examined every aspect of the ring. From the top of the pearl to the sapphire gems and the small line of jade gems that went around the ring. "It's beautiful." There was a slight quiver in her voice as she tried to draw the happiness in. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Percy smiled in appreciation back at her, slightly happy at the aspect that he wouldn't have to explain to her it wasn't a wedding ring.

Slowly he watched as the girl put the ring on her finger, on the married finger. _Perhaps I spoke too soon._ "Ilya, it's not a wedding ring you know."

"I know." Ilya told him, examining the ring on her finger. "Doesn't change the fact that you're still mine. It just means I now have proof to show everyone!" She smiled brightly at him and grabbed him tightly. "Thank you Onii-Chan. I love it."

Percy smiled at her, happy that she loved it. "I'm glad, now it's breakfast time. I'm making my mom's special cookies."

She drew back, and Percy could see the astonished look on her face. "Yes!" At once she bounded out of the room, leaving Percy behind.

Letting out a slight chuckle, Percy followed in pursuit. Already when he had arrived in the kitchen Ilya was showing off her ring at the table. Somehow Percy had been the last one to arrive. His adoptive parents had arrived back with multiple presents.

Ilya clapped her hands happily seeing all the presents. "Dad! Mom! Thank you!" She clapped her hands happily.

Kiritsugu let out a laugh, the man had changed significantly since Percy met the man and was much happier now that he was nearing the end of his carrier. "Don't worry about it. Go ahead and open your presents. Sella? Can you grab the salt and pepper?"

Sella nodded and went to grab the salt and pepper. A knock on the door halted everyone in their movements. "I'll get it, it is probably Maiya." Percy stood up and despite Sella's protests, went to the door.

Opening the door, Percy felt an uneasy tension stir in his blood. "Hermes." He dipped his head in acknowledgment. A hand creeping towards his pocket.

Seeing this Hermes took a step back waving his hands frantically. "Woah, woah. Perce! Calm down. Don't shoot me I'm just the messenger."

Percy still grabbed his sword and held it at his side, while he hadn't uncapped Anaklusmos just yet, he was still on guard. "Why are you here Hermes?" Percy's voice was cold, he had left this life behind for a reason.

"Zeus has ordered you to come to the throne room. A new prophecy has been told by the oracle." Hermes took another step back as Percy uncapped his sword.

Percy was furious, he had already finished multiple prophecy's. "I suggest you leave Hermes. I consider you a friend and while I am still loyal to Olympus, I'm not some martyr for Olympus to use. Unless there is a war. Leave me be." His sword was pointed towards the Olympian.

Hermes was hesitant. Zeus ordered that Percy come no matter what but on the other hand this was _Percy freaking Jackson._ The boy that had saved his son, the boy that had saved Olympus, the boy that had defeated a Primordial goddess. "Percy…"

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't cut off your head. All you are showing is that you are throwing me to the dust. Out, if Zeus needs me he can come himself." With that Percy slammed the door in his face.

Taking a deep breath, Percy turned face to face with Kiritsugu, "I'm so sorry-"

The man cut him off, "Don't worry about it. Ilya is wondering where you went and its not best to keep her waiting." Before they set off another knock was heard at the door.

Sighing Percy opened the door once more, this time in all his glory stood the bearded king of Olympians Zeus. His dark grey eyes had blue flashes in them and his face was neither happy nor grim, it was at an impasse. "Perseus Jackson."

"Zeus." Percy nodded at him, while he had slight respect for the man, Percy didn't consider to be under him.

Zeus stared at Percy for a few moments before his eyes slowly turned to the man behind Percy. "Kiritsugu Emiya, While I thank you for taking care of Perseus it is time for him to come back."

Kiritsugu dipped his head in respect, knowing better then to mess with a god. "I am afraid that I do not have any hold over Percy. If you wish for him to go home perhaps you should ask and not order. He has his own life here, leave him be."

Zeus shifted to the left slightly, getting into a more comfortable stance in case something would be happening. "Perseus. We need you back at Camp Half Blood to change the next generation. A new prophecy is coming-"

"Leave." Percy just shook his head, he was in emotional turmoil right now and his voice was strained, even he could hear it. "Out of my house. Unless we are on the verge of war. Leave now." It was an interesting sight. A demigod was telling off the leader of his pantheon and ordering him around.

It was clear that it didn't happen often as Zeus didn't know what to say. He was quiet for a few moments, "Very well Perseus." Turning away, Zeus walked out from their house. Percy watched him for a moment and walked back into his house, closing the door quietly.

Capping his sword, he stood with his back to the door for a few moments. Kiritsugu watched him quietly to make sure his adoptive son was alright. "You okay Percy?"

Percy just smiled grimly at his father. "I'll be fine." It didn't sound like he would be fine. His voice cracked as he talked, and he found himself unable to look at his adoptive father.

"Ilya!" Kiritsugu's voice rang throughout the house. Percy's eyes practically jumped to look at Kiritsugu who was somehow not looking at his son now.

"Yea!" Her voice was slightly munched, as if she was chewing as she talked.

"Master!" Sella's voice rang out through the hall. "Do not talk while you are eating!"

Kiritsugu hollered back, "Your boyfriend is in emotional turmoil! He needs a kiss!" Percy stared at his step father in betrayal, why the nerve of him!

"Wait-" A loud bang was heard and at once moaning was heard within the hall way. Ilya appeared in the hallway with her hair disheveled with striking eyes staring right at him. Kiritsugu whistled innocently and slipped right past Ilya as she marched right up to Percy.

"Are you okay?" Ilya grabbed his chin and stared into his eyes, looking all around. "What happened?" Ilya ordered him to tell her.

Percy's eyes flickered up to see a wink come from his father before he disappeared behind the corner. _That little shit!_

"Ilya, our father was being dramatic."

"Really?" She gave a _You are full of bull shit_ look. "Then explain why you have a tear running down your face."

Slowly Percy lifted his hand up to his underneath his eye. A slight wetness was right underneath his eye. "I was cutting onions?"

Rolling her eyes, she held onto him in a tight hug. "Baka. You can't lie to me." With that she stared into his eyes and pulled him close.

Words can't describe the way her lips tasted.

 **I'm honestly tempted to just leave this at a two-shot.**


	3. The Mall Part 1

**On my profile is a link to what I believe Ilya looks like.**

After the incident that had happened early in the morning, Ilya refused to let go of Percy at all. Everywhere he went she refused to leave him out of his sights. Changing up in her room, going to the kitchen, having to use the bathroom.

Yeah, Percy had to talk to Ilya while she was using the restroom, that was a new experience.

At the moment Percy was downstairs slipping into her shoes. Kiritsugu and Irisviel were talking in front of the tv. Shirou was watching the tv while the maids were cleaning after breakfast.

"When are we going to the mall!" Ilya asked excitedly, her eyes flickering to the doorway in anticipation.

Kiritsugu rose a slender eyebrow. "Do you or your mother ever slowdown in life?"

"Oh darling. You love our over bubbly emotions!" Irisviel winked at her husband, making Kiritsugu roll his eyes.

Percy watched the scene while being quiet. While the gods all had their quirks and if the decisions weren't life threatening or world threatening it could be mildly entertaining. The Emiya's on the other hand were just filled interesting ideas of humor, always adding something new to the table throwing Percy off guard. The only two nearly sane people in the family were Kiritsugu and Shirou. Only reason he didn't add Sella was because he walked in on her and Lesyritt doing some rather peculiar things that involved chains and whips. That was a new one, who would have seen Sella being a masochist.

"Onii-Chan!" Ilya was shaking his arm rather roughly, trying to get his attention.

"Yes?" Percy smiled softly at Ilya and began rubbing her head, he didn't know why he started doing this but Ilya was so adorable.

Ilya pouted at him. "Onii-Chan! Why don't we go on ahead! Dad wants to finish watching tv so let's have some alone time!"

The smile was so radiating, Percy found himself hard pressed to tell Ilya no. His head subconsciously began to nod. Exclaiming in excitement, Ilya ran out of the room, the first time since Percy found himself without her all morning.

Turning to look over to his adopted parents, he found them innocently watching the tv and trying not to look at Percy. The hush whispers that were heard earlier now ceased. "Kiritsugu, Irisviel, what are you two planning?" Percy asked them in a dangerously calm voice. They were up to something, he just knew it.

While his dad was perhaps one of the best liars in the world, Irisviel was perhaps one of the worst people in the world when it came to secrets. "We're going to follow you around all day and cause mishaps so that I can get grandbabies! I can't wait to be a grandparent oh it's so exciting! Don't you agree Kiritsugu?" Irisviel started dancing around the room half way through her speech. Grabbing her husband's head, she forcefully began nodding his head. Pulling off the manliest voice she could muster, she continued and grabbed his lips. "Oh yes Irisviel! That is quite a lovely situation! Maybe we should spike their drinks tonight so we get grandbabbies even sooner!'

Kiritsugu stayed as still as a bone as he continued to watch the tv show. By far now getting used to Irisviel's antics. Irisviel on the other hand backed up, as if she was taking part in a play where she alone was the main cast. "Oh Kiritsgu! You devil!" She brought her hand up before her mouth and gasped dramatically. "Why i knew there was a reason I married you! You handsome man coming up with these wonderful ideas! I agree! Let's spike their juices so we get all the grandbabbies in the world! Then we can pamper and love and cherish them to the stars above!" Clapping her hands together, Irisviel pulled the most devious smile she could muster...

... which looked more like a cute child then anything. "I must begin making the secret ingredient! For my secret ingredient soup! Off and away!" With that Irisviel booked out of the room, no doubt planning to have grandchildren.

Percy turned his head to his father, and while his father normally rarely decided to show emotion. This was one of the few times where if one looked closely enough, there was a slight twitch upwards on his lip. "Do you actually plan on spiking our drinks or soup?"

Kiritsugu had a blank look on his face as he turned to look at Percy. "Huh? Did you say something?"

Percy shot an eye look at his father who after a moment shrugged and turned back to the tv. "Why does she want grandchildren so fast?"

Kiritsugu stroked his beard and turned back over to Percy, "In all honesty i am pretty sure it's because we weren't good parents to Ilya. While we were always away, the maids took care of Ilya. I think it's her way of saying she wants a second kid or to be an actual parent."

"I see."

No further words were needed between the two of them when Ilya skipped back into the room. "Onii-chan! I am ready! Let's go! By dad! See you later!" Not letting a breath of fresh air enter her lungs. Ilya sprinted over, grabbed Percy and with inhumane strength yanked him to the front door. "Hurry! Put your shoes on! We must go has fast as can be!"

Letting out a small chuckle Percy sat down and put his shoes on quickly, checking his back pocket for his wallet. "Lead the way Ilya." Percy spoke, opening the door for Ilya.

On the way out, Ilya grabbed Percy's hand and began walking with him, the door slamming shut behind them.

The cold fresh air hit Percy the second he walked out of the door. The cool fall air still felt icy cold in the morning leaving a slightly prickle to his skin, but not uncomfortable by any means.

Glancing down, he took a quick peek at Ilya, the ring that he had given her earlier in the day seemed to shine brightly on her hand. There was a slight grin and the jolly skips as she walked seemed to never falter. The grip on his hand as well seemed to stay just as strong. "Ah it's such a beautiful day today." Her eyes drifted over to Percy's "Wouldn't you agree Onii-chan?"

Percy stared into her deep crimson eyes. They were so tantalizing that one could get lost in them. Pulling his sight away from her, he looked up to the sky where Zeus was no doubt fuming on his throne. "I agree, it is a beautiful day."

Percy half expected thunder to be heard in the background but nothing came with the sunny sky. "You are doing it again." Ilya commented, letting go of his hand and skipping in front of him. Turning around she began to walk backwards.

Percy stared at her "How would you know if I am?"

Ilya let out a short laugh, "Onii-chan. You are by far the worst liar within the family. I am surprised you even no how to lie. Besides," She stopped walking and as such Percy halted, less than half a meter from her. Reaching up she poked him in the cheek. "You can't hide anything from me silly!" She drew forward and kissed his cheek lightly and let out a laugh. "Come on! I have something I want to try on at the mall!"

Grabbing her hand, she charged forward, refusing for anything to stop her. The tightness never leaving the grip she had on him. "Ilya wait up a second!" Percy spoke up, actually struggling to keep up with the homunculus-human hybrid.

She grinned as she kept running and it took Percy a moment to realize how fast they were going, while no one was around them luckily, Ilya was using prana to speed up her movements. _Damnit Ilya!_ Percy thought to himself. Slamming his foot down he lurched Ilya back unexpectedly and caught her. Hugging her from behind. "That... that was reckless Ilya." Percy told her, breathing heavily from the speed they were traveling.

Ilya, who had an unbelievable amount of prana like most people in the Emiya household just grinned and didn't look phased at all. "You know Onii-chan. If you just wanted to give me a hug all you had to do was ask!" She put her hand in front of her mouth, unknowingly doing exactly what her mother had done not an hour before. "Could it be you are ready to pronounce your undying love to me? Is this the scene on the bridge that you always see in those English movies? I was hoping to get a pretty sunhat before we did something like this!"

"Ilya... you really love to embellish things, don't you?" Percy said, looking around to find that they were indeed on bridge that was constructed just above a river.

Ilya completely ignored him, carrying on with her chronicle. "Or! Could it be that you wanted to save this young maiden from the scary ninjas that were to appear!" Bringing her hand from her mouth up to her forehead. She put the back side of her hand and took a deep breath dramatically. "Oh, what ever shall I do! What will I do without you my dear Onii-chan! Will you please save me!" Ilya's eyes shut tightly and held on to Percy as if it was her own life on the line.

A few minutes of complete silence passed. All that could be heard were the birds singing and the light whistle of leaves and branches swishing back and forth from the wind. "There are no ninjas around Ilya." Percy said with a deadpan.

Percy could practically hear the audible click of her eyes opening back up. "Huh, that's weird. Isn't this the part in the movie where they appear?"

He couldn't help the snort followed by the quick chuckle that escaped him once Ilya has said that. She always had a way to make him smile no matter what the situation was. "I am afraid that with a heavy heart I must inform you that there are no ninjas around us at the moment." Pulling back ever so slightly she smiled into her beaming and mischievous face. "However, if there were I would tell you that I would protect you from them, no matter what." Leaning down, Percy gave a chaste kiss on the forehead.

Or he was going to until she leaned up and caught his lips in her own. He pulled back from the sheer surprise of feeling her own lips against his own. An impish smile graced her lips as she grabbed his hand.

Percy swore he heard a squeal come somewhere from the far right. Glancing up towards the area he turned to see no one in the vicinity. They had only just left the house and sped to this location no doubt as well. Percy highly doubted that they already would have caught up already, right?

Within moments of silent walking, Ilya no doubt thinking of mischievous ways to get her way, the mall came upon them and surprisingly there weren't many people there. It was the middle of the day on a school day for most so the high schoolers hadn't raided it just yet. Ilya and Shirou both took the day off as they always had to celebrate each other's birthdays.

"Where do you want to go first?" Percy asked her. She had wanted to come to the mall for very specific reasons and Percy could honestly say that he had no idea why she wanted to come to the mall in the first place.

Tapping her foot for a moment, Ilya hummed to herself. "Ice cream!" Ilya said, illuminating the whole room. There was an ice cream parlor not too far from the entrance of where they were. Ice cream did seem like a good idea.

Setting off, both of them soon reached the ice cream parlor and walked up. While his favorite desert was his moms' famous blue cookies, cookie dough ice cream was definitely a close second. Ilya picked out strawberry and was happy licking away as she ate her ice cream. Grabbing his hand, Ilya dragged Percy over to a fountain and sat. Quietly licking her ice cream.

Percy couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his features. He truly was lucky to have such wonderful friends as he did. "How is the ice cream Ilya?" He asked her while taking a bite into his own and savoring the taste of it.

"So good." Ilya practically moaned out at the taste. She was a sucker for all types of sweets and Percy knew it. He couldn't say he blamed her though, sweats were so magnificent in their own little ways and they always did an amazing job of cheering anyone up in any situation.

Quietly munching on their ice cream. One Percy was finished he turned to look at Ilya. "So where to next Ilya? It is still early in the day."

The glint in her eyes sent a small shiver right down Percy's spine. Somehow, he felt like he would end up regretting those words.

Ilya's slow smile turned sinister, yeah, he'd be regretting them alright.


	4. The Mall Part 2

**Join my discord server?** RPDHxDC

This, This was not what he was expecting. Not in a long shot.

"Yay! Piggy back ride from Onii-chan!" Ilya screamed at the top of her lungs. The worst part about it was everyone looked at her and smiled and waved.

Percy had no idea how he was roped into this. Actually, scratch that, this was Ilya he was talking about. A wolf in sheep's clothing that wormed her ideas into your heart and soul. There was no being in existence who would dare challenge her or her mother when it came to them getting what they wanted.

A massive blush of embarrassment refused to fade from his cheeks. Every step he took within the mall heads turned from Ilya booming talk. She loved the attention that she was gaining from everyone it seemed. That or she just thoroughly enjoyed making Percy want to fade from existence. If he had to take a guess he would bet on the second.

Slapping Percy on the back hard, Ilya pointed at a donut shop. "Look Percy! There is donuts! More sugar! Yes! We! Must! Have! All! The! Sugar!" Ilya through her head back and let out an ear piercing, sinister laugh that strangely reminded Percy of a witch.

Pausing in his steps. Percy walked over to a bench and gently set the rather twitchy girl down. It was clear that her body couldn't take the excess of sugar that was in her right now. "Percy! Why did you stop! Don't you know that the donut shop is that way!" Ilya tried to take a step forward but almost fell down on her knees.

Percy couldn't help the eyebrow raise he delivered her. That was a first. Not only had she called him by his name twice in a row but she seemed to be drunk on sugar. "No Ilya, that's enough sugar for you." He could practically see the drool ready to come out of her mouth and Percy was a liar to say that this side of Ilya was disturbing.

The girl looked up to Percy and smiled brightly. Throwing her arms around Percy. "Percy! I shan't never let go of you my love. We will be together forever and there will be nothing that stops me! I shall slay all the monsters in the world and make them go boom boom so stay with me my love!" She screamed it at the top of her lungs.

Fortunately for Percy. All of the people who had seen Ilya call him Onii-chan had left the mall at this point. On the flip side. The entire mall went silent as the declaration could be heard for miles. Everyone within visual distance shot Percy a pity look and went upon their day.

Letting out an awkward laugh and waving everyone in sight off. Percy's eyes shot to Ilya. "Ilya it's time to go home. Let's go." He told her, grabbing her hand as he begun to walk towards the exit.

She was having none of it though. Gripping his hand tight, she yanked back as he took the first step. Standing in place. "No! We have to meet Mom and Dad here! They promised they would be here!" Ilya argued with him in a haughty tone. Letting go of his hand she flipped her head to the side and threw up her hand. "If you have nothing else to say, talk to the hand."

Well, this was new. He hadn't really seen Ilya on a sugar high and Percy had to admit he hoped never to see her again like this. There was only one thing Percy could do now to get his and that was baiting her. Turning around he gasped astonishingly, "Well then. I supposed I will have to go home by myself and will snuggle all by myself in my own bed. Such a shame, I was really looking forward to snuggling with Ilya as well." Percy shrugged and begun walking by himself to the exit.

It worked like a charm. "No! Onii-chan! I am so sorry, please come back and let me snuggle with you!" Tears begun to well up in her eyes and she ran forward until she tackled him in a hug.

Turning around Ilya perhaps looked the most adorable he had ever seen her. Tears were swelled up in her eyes and her grip on him was that on par to a demigod holding his blade against a monster. "Please don't leave me."

Percy couldn't stop the smile that etched on his face. There was no possible way that he could stay mad at Ilya for anytime at all. Though there would be a sure fact that he would make her stay as far away from the sugar as possible. Honestly how could he not have noticed this.

"Yo Perce! How's it hanging?" Percy knew that careless attitude from anywhere. Looking up, he saw both Apollo and Artemis in the mall, standing just ten feet from him.

Apollo was in his normal laid back out, some sweats in a hoody while one head phone was in his ear. No doubt listening to music to get rid of his sisters ranting.

Artemis on the other hand at a light hue on her face. While she wasn't in her traditional clothing she was in sweats and a t-shirt, trying to fit in the best way possible.

"What are you doing here?" While Percy wasn't trying to be as accusing as possible, his hand slowly reached up for Riptide. Every fiber in his body told him that something was about to go down and a fight was about to break lose no matter what happened.

Artemis turned away and decided that the ground look very appealing while her brother nervously scratched the back of his head. "Ah yea Perce. Sorry about that but father's orders are father's orders after all." Apollo shot Percy a grim smile, "No hard feelings yeah?"

"I am sorry Perseus." Artemis softly spoke. "You are one of the most benevolent men on the planet and for you not to live your life in happiness is..." Artemis trailed off, not knowing how to say it. Neither of them wanted to do it but they no doubt had orders to.

"She's so pretty Percy! Can I touch her hair?" Percy patted Ilya's head but otherwise did not say anything. This was not the moment to be having this conversation with Ilya.

Percy narrowed his eyes at the two siblings. "I suggest you leave now before I have to strike both of you down. I respect both of you but I refused to be used as nothing more than a dog to you all. I have fought my wars and I deserve my peace. I suggest you leave." He repeated once more to them. Percy really did respect the two gods in front of him. The siblings had been two of the gods that always tried to help Percy in every way he could.

"That's enough Perseus Orion Jackson." A commanding tone said. Looking over Percy saw Athena in all her glory, wearing the normal robe she wore on Olympus and a spear in her hand. At once Percy flipped out his sword and pointed it at Athena. If she was going to bring out her weapon so was he. "You will be coming with us and it is not your decision."

Ilya who had been in a drunken stupor up until this shook out of it. "Percy, she looks like the girl in your pictures." Ilya pointed at Athena.

Percy gave her a grim smile, "That's because this is Athena. God of wisdom. The mother of the girl I used to date."

"Oh." Ilya looked at Athena for a moment. "She's much uglier that I thought she'd be." Both Apollo and Artemis looked away at this, Percy could see the faint underlines of a smile.

Athena glared at the little ministration that stood next to Percy. No doubt seeing her as something to get in the way."Sleep." With a snap of her fingers Ilya collapsed and would have hit the ground had Percy not saved her.

Looking up, he glared at the goddess of wisdom for her uncaring nature. Of course, she didn't care about other beings that walked this earth. Just those that she was related too. "Come with us and no one gets injured Perseus. I will transport them back to your home and this will be the last time you ever see them. Your family is with the gods. Everyone at Camp Half Blood misses you. She misses you." Percy bit back a snarl. He wanted nothing to do with that side of his family and for good reason. He was done with all of them.

"Yo son!" Percy turned to see his father lazily waving with Irisviel and Shiro right next to him. "Taking good care of Ilya? Who would have known she would already pass out."

"Oh, my baby girl!" Irisviel cooed at seeing Ilya sleeping soundly in Percy's arms. "It just proves that the grand babies are even going to be coming faster!" Out of the corner of his eye Percy saw the goddess of wisdom wince but said nothing.

"Hey Percy." His brother awkwardly said, shooting a look down at Percy. "Did she go on a sugar high again?"

"You knew? Why didn't you tell me!" Percy massaged his forehead. Today was just not his day.

Kiritsugu looked at the three members that were practically surrounding Percy.. "Oh well. Seems like a family problem at the moment. Go with them Percy." This shocked Percy to the core as Kiritsugu walked up and grabbed Ilya.

Irisviel smiled and waved at Percy. "Have some fun with your family! We will come pick you up in a bit." After a moment they gave Percy's hugs and left silently. Shocking Percy to his very foundations.

Before he had a chance to react, someone touched him on his shoulder and all he knew was darkness.

 **Oh snap. Shits about to get real.**

Ilya woke up with a nursing headache. Groaning and stretching she was lying down on the most comfortable mattress in the house and she knew it was due to the fact that it was Onii-chan.

After snuggling deeper, she reached across to grab a hold of Percy.

Only to find he wasn't there.

She gasped as the memories suddenly hit her of what happened before she passed out. His family had come to steal him from her! Ilya was almost ready to let out a blood screeching scream. Had they taken him from her?

Shooting up she ran down stairs. Praying with every fiber in her body that he was making food. Her blood turned cold when she saw all her family and the maids on the couch but not Percy.

"Mom! Dad! Where is Percy!" Ilya hollered at them, gaining their attention in but a moment. She ran in front of them and shook her father roughly. "Have. You. Seen. Percy?" Despite the sugar hangover she should have been nursing, she was screaming at them.

Kiritsugu blinked at his daughter but Ilya swore there was a glint in them, he knew something. "Remember Ilya? His family came over to pick him up? He went to go visit them for a bit."

"A bit? They want to take him away forever you fucking dumbass!" She screamed at her father. She was livid. They had just let him walk away? Ilya knew they had been watching her all day and while she wasn't going to say anything about it at the moment, she knew her father was hiding something from her. It made her livid.

"Honey it won't be that long. They just want him forever." Irisviel said, not really paying attention to what she said and finding the tv much more interesting than the conversation.

Shiro said nothing during this time but it was clear he was quite nervous about the entire situation with his sister. He had never seen his sister so angry in her life and he wasn't quite sure what she was going to do. His family other than his father and himself tended to act more rather than think.

So, he could honestly say that afterwards what Irisviel said and the remote was magically sticking out of the tv, was not a surprise. The program they had been watching had come to a halt and glass was shattered on the ground. "Where is Percy, Dad. I know you are hiding something from me and so help me if you do not help me find him I will chop your balls off."

Everyone in the family was surprised by that, this was the darkest they had ever seen Ilya. It was clear she was not in a good mood and this was more serious than the family was taking it. Shirou slowly shifted away from his family, fully intending to run in a bit.

"Ilya-" Irisviel begun but was quickly shut up as Ilya glared at her mother.

"Mom let me simplify this into terms so you can understand." Taking a deep breathe, Ilya tried to calm herself down. She needed to calm down and not yell at her parents.

That didn't stop her from slamming her hands on the table. "If I don't see Percy again you will never get grand babies!"

It worked like a charm. Irisviel froze in place as the words were processed into her. "No grand babies? No one to pamper." Her head begun to twitch as if it wasn't computing and for a moment she stopped moving all together.

Like an explosion she shot up, making the couch fly backwards with both her husband and son on it. "Pack your bags! We have a son to save."

Ilya prayed to every being out there that her soon to be boyfriend was alright.


End file.
